10 Reasons Why You Feel Disconnected to Life.

Do you feel out of sync, not in tune in some way to your life, your career, your relationships?

Do you feel like you are constantly thriving and never arriving at a destination or achievement that will bring ultimate joy and happiness?

Or do you feel like you have lost your energy, identity, spark and that each day you are just going through the motions?

I get it, I felt like that for a long time and living this way created a lot of stress and fear in my life. I was overwhelmed with all of the things in my life and it took me a long time to understand what was amiss.

Through a LOT of inner work, reading, learning and listening I realised that I was out of tune with myself. I was disconnected from me, the real me. I had lost sight of my unique essence and soul purpose.

I was so busy doing and following the expectations of all the people in my external world that I had lost sight of what I wanted to do or achieve in my life. I was living a life of pleasing others and forgot about pleasing myself.

When we live our life with our focus on our external world (jobs, TV, parents, teachers, partners, family, friends, money, religions etc) we detach from the inner signs and signals that our mind, body, heart and spirit is constantly communicating with us. Our external world becomes so loud that we spend our life reacting to the things around us instead of responding with intention or compassion.

Here are 10 reasons why you may be feeling disconnected in your life.

  1. You are living a very stressful life. Stress is the predominant theme in your day and from the commute to work to the deadlines and personal commitments it is all very overwhelming.
  2. Your life is on fast forward, filled to the brim with ALL the things to do. You are so busy trying to fit everything in. Your days and weeks are so jam-packed that they distract you from and limit the time you spend checking in with yourself.
  3. There is less movement throughout your day or week, probably because of 1 and 2 above.
  4. You don’t spend time in nature that often or at all. Your days are spent indoors with no fresh air or connection to the world that you live in.
  5. You have little or no time for fun and play. Maybe you can’t remember the last time you laughed or played around with something new. The seriousness of adult living has taken over and fun and play has been shunned to the side.
  6. You haven’t allowed yourself to be creative and create something new. Busy lives and jobs take up all of your time and you have put your love for drawing, music, painting, singing, crafting etc into a box under the bed.
  7. You are over-consuming information and media around you. You spend hours in front of the TV or on social media, disconnecting you further from your true self and your needs.
  8. You are living your life based on past experiences or future worries and concerns. This makes it impossible to enjoy the ride and appreciate all the wonderful people and things of the present.
  9. You’re goals are not really aligned with you, they belong to society, your parents, your boss. Have you felt yourself ticking boxes of adult life rather than living the life you want? This is because you have been working towards someone else’s goals or dreams.
  10. You don’t make time inward reflection and connection. You don’t know what lights you up or gets you down. You haven’t asked yourself what it is you want in life, work, relationships and because of this you spend your life reacting impulsively instead of responding with intention and insight.

If you want to reconnect and realign with your true self explore one or all of these 10 points. Ask yourself is this true in my life? If it is ask yourself how can you make small changes to realign with your true self.

Ultimately we do things in life to make us feel better, when we are aligned with our true self we feel better. When we are spending more of our time doing things that make us feel better then our lives look very different.

In tuning into our true self we take back our power, we feel free, joyous, peaceful and content – who doesn’t want more of that? When we are in alignment with our heart and soul we can navigate our life with intention and meaning.

Mel x

Check out more blog post like this one to take a deeper dive into realigning and remembering the real you – blog

Living with Intention

Have you ever had the intention of starting something new or doing something differently to make your life more harmonious or balanced? Perhaps your intention for the week was to be less agitated, more active, more mindful, healthier, fitter, grateful or more fulfilled. But when you arrived at the end of your week you feel anything but because life got in the way?

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How to bring Harmony to your Well-Being

Wellness, the hashtag or tagline for many an online post from the knowledgeable to the influential. It is often thrown around with reckless abandonment with others such as organic, natural, superfood and the newest member, mindfulness to engage you in a product or health promotion of some sort. However, the word wellness has been around since the 60’s and 70’s, long before social media was even born. Wellness, a word coined by the leading psychologists, behavioural change therapists, counsellors and life coaches at the time who pioneered the way for the whole person approach we know today.

As this is a wellness blog, I thought it was necessary to dig a little deeper…

What does wellness mean?

And more importantly what does wellness mean to you?

I have often posed this question to individuals and groups as a Health & Wellness Coach and the answers are always similar;

Wellness is the opposite of illness.

– Wellness is being fit and healthy.

– Wellness is having a healthy diet.

– Wellness is being healthy.

All the above are true and important aspects of wellness, but not the whole picture. To bring awareness to your wellness is to bring awareness to all areas of your life, looking at you as a whole –in mind, body, soul and environment.

Wellness isn’t just the absence of disease, you can be disease free and in a neutral position between wellness and illness and still feel unsatisfied or unfulfilled. Almost like wearing blinkers or driving on auto pilot. Not really tuning into what is going on in your body, mind or heart but getting by because you haven’t started to show the signs or symptoms of illness yet.

How often have you been totally satisfied in some areas of your life such as career only to realise that your relationships or health are in total disarray? Feeling so satisfied in some areas only to feel empty and wanting in others?

Don’t worry you are not alone in feeling this way. How else can we truly know what we want without having the contrast of what we don’t want. So always embrace and be grateful for this contrast as it is there to show you what you do want.

For me, wellness is an inside job and it starts with our awareness. After all, awareness can be curative. When we bring awareness to all areas of our lives and ask ourselves a few honest questions as to how we are truly feeling about them we may be surprised at how deeply we connect with the answers.

So where and how do we start? Let’s get this wheel turning!

wheel of life

As I said when we look at our wellness we don’t just look at one area like diet or fitness, we need to look at all areas of meaning within our lives. These may vary but for the majority they can be focused around these main areas.

  1. Family
  2. Friends
  3. Health
  4. Career
  5. Money
  6. Personal growth
  7. Significant other/ Romance
  8. Physical environment
  9. Fun and recreation
  10. Diet & fitness

Take 5 or 10 minutes and think honestly about these areas within your life. You can add in or take out areas if you wish.

If you were to rate your satisfaction in each area out of 10, what would that look like? Shade in your wheel to correspond with your rating.

Think about each area from both sides. For example, I might rate my diet & fitness a 6/10 because although I eat very healthy 80% of the time, my fitness levels have dropped as I have prioritised other areas of my life.

Look at your wheel, the inner shaded wheel you have created and ask yourself, how confident would I feel using this wheel on my car? If the answer is not very confident maybe you can make some changes to those certain areas of your life to ensure a smoother ride.

It is not about having the perfectly rounded wheel, it is about bringing your awareness to your wellness as a whole and improving it by looking at specific areas.

It is about changing the direction of your wellness, a direction of which you are steering and not being led.

As wellness is an ever-evolving journey for everyone you could do this exercise 100 times over and have different insights each time. I have often done this and thought, I am not satisfied with that area of my life, I am going to make a conscious effort to see that person more or do this less. In bringing our attention and awareness to an area you could bump a 5/10 to an 8/10 and make a huge change to our overall wellness in a matter of minutes.

mind-body-spirit
Looking at the whole picture

Other times the change might be a bigger lifestyle change that we may need to seek help with and or set goals accordingly.

 

As I said, it starts with awareness. So, bring your attention to all of the important parts of your life, give it some honest, non-judgemental thought. The wheel should not be a tool you use to beat yourself up that you haven’t got your life perfectly balanced (Let’s be honest, who does?). It is a tool that acts as a starting point from which you can consciously improve your health and well-being.

We are the only ones who can take control of our wellness and change it for the better, we just need to make that choice.

Are you ready to take control of your health and wellness and change it for the better?

Where will you start?