10 Reasons Why You Feel Disconnected to Life.

Do you feel out of sync, not in tune in some way to your life, your career, your relationships?

Do you feel like you are constantly thriving and never arriving at a destination or achievement that will bring ultimate joy and happiness?

Or do you feel like you have lost your energy, identity, spark and that each day you are just going through the motions?

I get it, I felt like that for a long time and living this way created a lot of stress and fear in my life. I was overwhelmed with all of the things in my life and it took me a long time to understand what was amiss.

Through a LOT of inner work, reading, learning and listening I realised that I was out of tune with myself. I was disconnected from me, the real me. I had lost sight of my unique essence and soul purpose.

I was so busy doing and following the expectations of all the people in my external world that I had lost sight of what I wanted to do or achieve in my life. I was living a life of pleasing others and forgot about pleasing myself.

When we live our life with our focus on our external world (jobs, TV, parents, teachers, partners, family, friends, money, religions etc) we detach from the inner signs and signals that our mind, body, heart and spirit is constantly communicating with us. Our external world becomes so loud that we spend our life reacting to the things around us instead of responding with intention or compassion.

Here are 10 reasons why you may be feeling disconnected in your life.

  1. You are living a very stressful life. Stress is the predominant theme in your day and from the commute to work to the deadlines and personal commitments it is all very overwhelming.
  2. Your life is on fast forward, filled to the brim with ALL the things to do. You are so busy trying to fit everything in. Your days and weeks are so jam-packed that they distract you from and limit the time you spend checking in with yourself.
  3. There is less movement throughout your day or week, probably because of 1 and 2 above.
  4. You don’t spend time in nature that often or at all. Your days are spent indoors with no fresh air or connection to the world that you live in.
  5. You have little or no time for fun and play. Maybe you can’t remember the last time you laughed or played around with something new. The seriousness of adult living has taken over and fun and play has been shunned to the side.
  6. You haven’t allowed yourself to be creative and create something new. Busy lives and jobs take up all of your time and you have put your love for drawing, music, painting, singing, crafting etc into a box under the bed.
  7. You are over-consuming information and media around you. You spend hours in front of the TV or on social media, disconnecting you further from your true self and your needs.
  8. You are living your life based on past experiences or future worries and concerns. This makes it impossible to enjoy the ride and appreciate all the wonderful people and things of the present.
  9. You’re goals are not really aligned with you, they belong to society, your parents, your boss. Have you felt yourself ticking boxes of adult life rather than living the life you want? This is because you have been working towards someone else’s goals or dreams.
  10. You don’t make time inward reflection and connection. You don’t know what lights you up or gets you down. You haven’t asked yourself what it is you want in life, work, relationships and because of this you spend your life reacting impulsively instead of responding with intention and insight.

If you want to reconnect and realign with your true self explore one or all of these 10 points. Ask yourself is this true in my life? If it is ask yourself how can you make small changes to realign with your true self.

Ultimately we do things in life to make us feel better, when we are aligned with our true self we feel better. When we are spending more of our time doing things that make us feel better then our lives look very different.

In tuning into our true self we take back our power, we feel free, joyous, peaceful and content – who doesn’t want more of that? When we are in alignment with our heart and soul we can navigate our life with intention and meaning.

Mel x

Check out more blog post like this one to take a deeper dive into realigning and remembering the real you – blog

How Do You Deal with Stress?

Stress, we all feel it and in today’s society it is sometimes a badge of honour to be worn proudly on your chest. Never mind that your mental, physical and emotional health will suffer greatly from prolonged stress. Never mind that your relationships will suffer. If you are stressed and running yourself into the ground, then you are working hard and eventually all of this grinding will pay off.

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Healing, Forgiving and letting Go.

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We go through many experiences and situations in life that cause us pain, hurt, anguish and heartache. Somethings hurt more than others. Sometimes we know exactly where the pain originated from and other times we just feel it and try and work through it.

Often, we push it down, suppress it and pretend it’s not there. We push it into the shadows in the hope that it will stay there quietly and let you get on with your life. We forget that the shadows are very much part of ourselves as a whole and that we can always light a candle in a dark room.

Emotions and thoughts are strongly held and felt within the body whether they are positive or negative in nature. They affect us on a mental, physical, emotional and indeed spiritual level. We are often so unaware of our patterns and mental chatter that we do not see the toxic effect it is having on our physical, emotional and mental bodies. When we are not aware of our thoughts and emotions and when we don’t give them the time and space to heal, they are stored in the body, stored until we are ready to deal with them.

We create ways of dealing with these emotions as we encounter them in different situations. Every habit or condition we have in our lives serves a purpose in the initial instance but after a while we no longer need it. We developed that habit or way of thinking as a means of protecting us at that time, as a way to cope with the situation. Like biting your nails, as a child you may have done it as a source of comfort or to ease your worrying thoughts. As an adult you may want to stop the habit and realise that although 5-year-old you had a good way to ease the worry when you were 5, adult you has a better way of dealing with it.

When we choose to ignore the thoughts and emotions a couple of things may happen. Similar things will continue to happen in our lives, repeating the pattern until we are ready to deal with the lesson that life is giving us. We may be blocked from moving on in our lives and remain stuck in a life that we are not happy with as we continue to believe ‘This is just who I am’, ‘that’s just the way it is’.  Sometimes pain stored in the body or a long time can manifest as disease or illness within the body. A lot of people see disease as dis-ease within the body, the symptoms are telling us that something is imbalanced, blocked or damaged. This is happening because we are holding on to something that is not serving us anymore, something we need to let go of, something that we are still in pain over and needs healing.

Have you ever suffered with back pain?

Have a look at this chart and see if the area of pain for you would reflect some of the possible reasons cited below.

BackPainImage

Our beliefs are shaped by our thoughts and emotions. Our beliefs are just thoughts we think over and over again. However we came to that belief isn’t as important as the knowledge that we can always change our beliefs. It takes time and consistent effort, but we CAN change our thought patterns and our beliefs to help us to live a happier and healthier life.

Your story to date is important but you don’t want to stay in the past chapters of your life. Your story is an important tool for you to use to see the things you want in your life and the things you don’t want in your life. However, you cannot affect change in your life if you keep thinking the same thoughts, none of your power is from where you are backward. ALL of your power is from where you are now, moving forward. The more you focus on the unwanted, on your story, on your past experiences the deeper you dig into a hole you are trying to get out of.

We know that the plant cannot survive without the root, so to change the thought pattern, you have to go back to the root cause. Again, you don’t want to get stuck at the root cause or caught up in the backstory because then you can’t move forward from there. Many of us know someone, ourselves included, who have got stuck in a backstory and tell it over and over again. They wear the badge of that situation and refer to it whenever something goes wrong in their lives or when anyone will listen. Essentially, they are just using it as an excuse and getting in their own way of moving on and moving forward. Every moment is a fresh start of where you are and where you want to be instead of where you were and where you got to be.

 Louise Hay, author of Heal Your Life, is famous all over the world for creating a reference of the most common illness, diseases and health issues, their probable causes and life changing thought patterns to help us rewire our way of thinking.  She speaks of the four main thought patterns that cause the most dis-ease within the body as criticism, anger, resentment and guilt.

If we think of all the situations and experiences we have been through in our lives then it is very probable that we are holding onto criticism, anger, resentment and guilt from ourselves or others, maybe even from our childhood or past lives. The more we are aware of these thought patterns, the more we can clear, heal and live a happier and healthier life.

When we are aware of the thought process and the probable cause we can then start to work on changing that thought process. Sometimes awareness in itself can be curative and alongside the new thought pattern change can come very quickly. Other times we need to practice the new thought pattern every day, consistently until they become natural to us. Rewiring the brain to change the thought processes is not easy work, we literally are breaking apart neurons that may be wired together for years. And often we need help from a practitioner, to help us to heal and let go.

When the physical symptoms occur again we are aware of what is coming up for us and we can quickly adapt in whatever we need to so ease that pain. However, I believe the most important tool to healing and pain is forgiveness.

Forgiveness is the most powerful tool you can give yourself. If you can’t learn to forgive, you can forget about achieving true success in your life – Wayne Dyer.

Forgiveness is not only a powerful emotion it is a powerful and empowering choice to make for ourselves.  Forgiveness is a huge component in our overall happiness and healing from past situations and experiences. When we choose to forgive we are not saying that we condone the behaviour of the person who caused us pain and hurt. We are not saying that we will reconcile, become their best friend and pretend like it never happened. It also doesn’t mean that we have to publicly ‘show’ our forgiveness, there is as much power in silently working on it ourselves. When we choose to forgive we choose to let go of that anger, hurt, regret, blame, resentment, the story. We choose to remember that no one is perfect and that we have the courage, guts and strength of purpose to practice forgiveness and let go, especially when there is anger and resentment within us. We take responsibility for our part in it, our reaction and our holding onto it and instead decide to make the change and reap the benefits.

When we are angry, bitter, resentful, hateful towards a person or situations (ourselves included) we are the only ones feeling that negative and destructive emotion. The other person does not feel or is not ‘punished’ because we are feeling this way toward them. In fact, when we feel this way towards someone it is like making a poison of hate for someone and their behaviour towards us and drinking it ourselves. Forgiveness is a gift of peace of mind and heart you give to yourself. It is a gift of health and happiness instead of a life of resentment, anger and hate.  It is not easy, but it can be achieved with intention and practice.

Wherever you are on your path please know that there are tools and therapies that can assist you in letting go and healing from whatever past trauma or pain you experienced. In seeking help and healing you are essentially taking back your power, your inner peace to live a happier, healthier life instead of a life of pain and resentment.

Please share this article on to someone who you think may benefit from it and subscribe to my mailing list for articles about becoming a healthier, happier version of you.

Mel x

September Book Club

I still love to get lost in books as an adult and I also love to learn more about life through reading.  I have read so many books that have brought so much meaning to experiences and situations in my life and others that have helped me understand myself and gain insight deep within my being. Other books were like reading about truths that I had long forgotten and as I turned each page, little by little,  I remembered the biggest truths of all.

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