Why am I finding it so hard?
What can I do to ease the overwhelm?
Resilience is our ability to bounce back after a challenging, stressful or traumatic time. It is our ability to be flexible or adaptable in times of great uncertainty, adversity and change.
Resilience is a strengthening over time, through awareness, practice and responsibility of intentional action rather than reaction. It is a muscle like any other that can be nourished and built upon to enable and empower us to navigate through hardships and challenging moments in our lives.
Firstly let me emphasis that being overwhelmed by thoughts are emotions is not a sign of weakness. It is a red light from within calling us to stop, check in and adjust before we move again.
Our bodies are constantly and consistently sending signals to us on a mental, physical and emotional level. When do not tune into them, they become overwhelming however when we know our selves intimately in mind, body ,heart and soul we can respond to our needs before they reach their most heightened state.
We have an incredibly solid response from the body to keep us safe in times of danger – our nervous system. In these times of acute fear, stress, pain or trauma we can find the most resourceful means to stay alive. Our body is equipped to act before we can mentally comprehend and enable us to take flight or fight away any imminent threat on our life. However, most of us are in a constant state of stress or fear and our mental, physical, emotional bodies are taking the brunt or it, burning out or breaking down.
This may be mirrored in how we initially took on the challenge of lock down 2020 with its strict restrictions and limitations on our lives. Initially we may have been proactive, positive and resourceful. Only to find ourselves, weeks in, exhausted and not knowing what day of the week it is or what we feel. Many of us are masking how we really feel because we don’t want to seem ungrateful or negative or maybe you are holding it together for the sake of loved ones? Sound familiar? You’ re not alone!
You have been living in a place of acute stress for many weeks and now that is having huge effects on your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual self. First of all give yourself permission to really check in with how you are right now. Secondly be compassionate and understanding that these are times like no other and you may need to or practise new ways to help navigate through. You are not weak, incapable or flawed – you are adapting and that change can be exhausting, uncomfortable and sometimes painful. You are capable! You have faced adversity and pain before and you will get through this, this will pass.
When we observe and remember how intricate and incredible the human mind, body, heart and spirit is we remember our strength and courage to overcome adversity. Our resourcefulness as we navigate through the acute stress, pain, trauma or fear is remarkable and sometimes beyond belief and our resilience will help us grow, become stronger, love deeper and appreciate much more.
What does resilience look like?
Resilient people have an open mind and growth mindset, they seek information and are open to alternative options and solutions.
Resilient people develop a sense of control and responsibility. They become an active participant in their journey of healing, growth, recovery. They are the director, producer, scriptwriter in their lives. They know that they are worthy of joy, happiness, peace, abundance, love and health. They also know that they have to be willing to make the changes to their lives to receive and make room for their deepest desires.
Resilient people acquire new skills and tools and PRACTISE often to build their resilience. They understand that to master anything one must not stop practising – the tools don’t work when you only use them in times of challenge. You don’t just brush your teeth when you have a toothache, do you?
Great masters become great because they never stop stop practising.
Mentally and emotionally resilient people give themselves permission to feel the depts as much as the heights of emotions that move through them like waves, never blocking or inhibiting the flow.
You are allowed to cry, to wail, to curse and shout. You are allowed to feel nothing, to feel like you need to rest or sleep all day. You are allowed to be excited and productive and to relish in all this extra time you have been given. You are allowed to feel jealous for not having the time, money, resources to change one single thing in your life too. Resilient people give themselves permission to be real and unfiltered, honest and authentic to what they need or want in each moment.
Tools and Practises to Cultivate Resilience in your life
- Nurture flexible thinking and growth mindset – the only constant is change – Nature, the trees and flowers change all the time, we move and grow through cycles all the time, embrace it! Foster a growth mindset, be open and curious. Listen to a podcast, read or learn about ways to do that.
- Acceptance and attachment – you cannot control everything, and you don’t need to burden yourself with that pressure. Be kind to yourself and accept all of who you are. You can only do what you can do! Find clarity and understanding as to what you can control and what you cannot. Write it down on paper; Things I can control, things I cannot. Reclaim your power right now.
- Reframing is a powerful tool to use when the mental chatter or emotional waves become overwhelming. Rewrite the script, let go of the blame, injustice, the frustration – you can’t change the past chapters, but you can rewrite the next. I may not be able to … >> But I can … I can’t do this >> I can’t do this yet or I can ask for support. I miss seeing my family >> I will connect in new ways and remember this will not last forever
- We know the damaging effect negative self-talk has on mental, emotional and physical selves. Instead of allowing a negative narrative to play on auto in the background from old conditions and beliefs we can actively and intentionally say positive and affirming statements to ourselves each day.
I am strong, I am healthy, I am brave, I am love
- Address the stress in your life – where is it coming from? What is/are the biggest stress(es) you have? What can you do to address that directly? Meditation, time in nature, daily yoga, movement, mantra, dance, playing music, listening to music, creating. What lights you up? Make time for those things.
- Ask for support, guidance and help when you need it. Now more than ever people are remembering the importance of kindness and compassion and coming together to help one another. If you are having a hard day, week or year, reach out.
- Connect with your soul self, the spirit within that is driven by meaning and purpose. The more in tune you are with your inner truth the more aligned your life is with your values, meaning and purpose. We don’t find or work our purpose; it is our purpose to show up as our truest, most unique expression of ourselves without apology or conditions and to be loved exactly as we are. Ask yourself, Is this true for me? When you are brave enough to do so, you encourage others to do the same!!
- Commit to 1 practice daily that helps you connect within and fills up your cup. A few moments of reflection, journalling, breathwork, meditation, prayer, affirmation, time in nature. Ensure it is a non-negotiable and remind yourself it is paramount to your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being.
If you need more guidance and support through this time, please get in touch to discuss how my offerings may help you navigate through this time.