How much do you value yourself?
Where do you come on your priority list?
We have been taught to look outside of ourselves to feel worthy or good enough and to create this perceived perfect version of our self.
We have been brought up with beliefs and values about how we should be, behave, look like, say and do (from school, parents, family, society).
As we got older, we realised that these beliefs did not always ring true for us and so we changed our ideas to create our own beliefs and values.
However, some of these beliefs are so deeply ingrained within our psyche that it can be hard to even see them for what they are. And so, we continue to look for our worth in our achievements, accomplishments, relationships, material belongings and forget that self-worth is an inside job.
Self-worth means you believe you deserve to be alive, to be seen, to be heard, loved and nurtured exactly as you are – because of who are.
We think by being busy, chasing our goals, creating this perfect version of ourselves or attaining that relationship, we will feel worthy and good about ourselves. But it doesn’t work, it isn’t enough. We get the job, good results, etc we thought would make us feel worthy and maybe for a day, week or month we feel good but then we reset the bar, usually higher and further away and continue a never-ending quest.
Low self-worth encourages us to switch off in life, mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. It encourages us to numb out our feelings with addictions such as alcohol, drugs, food, bad relationships, Netflix (the list is endless). Feeling unworthy and underserving of the vital things we need in life can leave us on the road of destruction, self-sabotage and illness.
Our low self-worth determines if we live a life in heaven or hell.
Our low self-worth contributes to depression and anxiety because self-criticism, shame, unhealthy behaviour, addiction all come from a place of low self-worth.
In believing we are not “something” enough, fit enough, slim enough, intelligent enough, outgoing enough we spend our lives chasing a version of ourselves that doesn’t exist, and we do it for the sake of others, not necessarily because we want to be that.
We lose ourselves trying to be “something” for others. Most of the time our expectations of how we should look, be, do, are our creations of limits and expectations that we thought to be true along the way, they simply are not! In squashing ourselves into these boxes we could never fully show up as ourselves. The problem was never that we weren’t ‘something’ enough, it was that we weren’t being enough of our true selves.
How do we cultivate a sense of self-worth?
- Never let how they feel about you, determine how you feel about yourself.
- Never devalue yourself to make someone else feel more worthy or better in themselves. Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth. Self-deprecating behaviour is an easy go-to habit, but it is only reinforcing the negative or limiting belief. It does not serve you or others.
- We are not valuable based on our ability to be perfect in certain areas or accomplish certain things. We are valuable because of the unique blend of our strengths and weaknesses, experiences and heart. We have to take back our power and remember our worth. We must be the one who sees our worth, value and contribution to the world.
- Practice self-acceptance – We are told over and over that who we are is not acceptable. Quiet the “shoulds”. Embrace all the things you are and show them off to the world.
- How someone treats you is not a reflection of what you deserve but it may reflect how you are treating yourself consciously or unconsciously. It reflects what you are settling for in life, to be the person who fades into the background, who does as they are told, to not put forward their amazing creations and ideas, to not be seen in your true uniqueness.
- Let’s not settle for anything less than we deserve. We have to stop giving people the power to determine how we feel about ourselves.
Let’s stand in our power, our softness, our strength, our beauty and value, the whole version of us. The version that was so intricately and consciously woven together so that we can show up as that every day. To withhold our true selves, our whole selves would be a great disservice to everyone we know and love but mostly to ourselves. If you don’t value you, why should anyone else? Is that the message you want to out to the world? Is that what you want to teach your children and the next generation?